The Last Two Years – Filling in the Gaps

To read my other updates, click on part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 and part 6.

I think this will probably be my last update about what’s happened in the last couple of years and it’s just to fill in some gaps and to explain how I started living with G again.

To recap, in February 2017, I told George that I no longer wanted to be married to him. We continued to live together and that was fine, but then I started dating and I began to feel awkward about the whole thing. In July 2017, I talked to G about it and said that I thought he should move out (I got the house in the divorce). He agreed and we began looking for a place for him. We stayed living together until September 2017.

It was difficult when he moved out, but I was hoping that it would help him move on and maybe start dating too. The worst part was that he couldn’t have Biff with him. And that was so sad. For everyone. I remember going to lunch or dinner with G and talking about Biff and G got tears in his eyes. That almost killed me. Ugh.

So G moved out in September 2017 and I had a friend move in for a while so I had a roommate. This is when I went to Thailand for 5 weeks with J. By January 1, 2018, the friend moved out and I started renting a room to a different friend (someone who had rented from G and me before). She loves Biff, is a great renter and is now a really good friend so that worked out pretty much perfectly.

Well, as you know, in June 2018, Trailergate 2018 occurred, and I lost my f*cking mind and moved into a trailer. I didn’t want to sell my house, but I didn’t want to rent to just any yahoo off the street either so I asked George if he would be interested in moving back into the house with the roommate. Of course he said yes! He loves the house and was dying to be with Biff again so he moved back into the house around August 2018. And it was great! Biff could share time between us and I had people living in the house who cared about it.

As November 2018 came around and I decided to end my trailer life, I moved in with J. I didn’t even really give him a choice. I just couldn’t stay in the trailer any longer and I thought his place was my only option. And he wanted me to move in…at least I’m pretty sure he did. But here’s the thing, J’s place is really small. And he also works from home. We were around each other 24/7. And that was a nightmare. I mean, it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t ideal. And I don’t think either of us were happy or as happy as we should have been. So I started making other plans. Without really consulting J, I told him I was moving out. He asked me if I was breaking up with him. No. We just needed space, like actual space. I thought that if I continued living with him, it would end our relationship. And I really didn’t want that.

I didn’t want to rent a place because I have to live in a place where I can have Biff (I just love that f*cker too much). George was the first person to suggest that I move back to the house. At first, I thought it was a really bad idea. How could I move back in with my ex? Especially after I was the one who asked him to move out? Wow. But, after thinking about it and talking to everyone about it, I realized it really was the best idea. At least in the short term. Maybe in the long term. In February 2019, I moved back in.

And no, I don’t think J was that cool with it at first, but I know he agreed that we didn’t want to have another Trailergate-like adventure or do something we couldn’t rectify as easily as the trailer situation…like buying a house. So here we are, living apart, and it’s so much better. Our relationship is so much better! It’s so much better that I wonder if I’ll ever live with a boyfriend/spouse again.

Surprisingly, my relationship with G is also so much better. I think it was during the first or second week after I moved in, that I said, “OMG, our relationship is so much better!” He agreed. Now, we can just be friends and we don’t have all the marriage-bullsh*t piled on. I think we’re better at being friends than we ever were at being spouses.

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2 Responses to The Last Two Years – Filling in the Gaps

  1. brandyp0509 says:

    Well I for one think it’s great that things have worked out the way they have. I think a lot of married AND divorced couples are likely better as friends than spouses and I think you and G have total respect for one another to both recognize that and to move forward as roommates. I also think (not that anyone has any f#$ks to give about my amateur psych evals though I did kick a$$ in every level of psych for nursing and still study it as I enjoy it like a weirdo but I digress as I almost always do) that any romantic relationship be it with your boyfriend or any romantic interest G has that if they can see y’alls relationship as it is and accept and respect it than those relationships will flourish because it’s a true showing or trust and respect for their relationship with either of y’all so congratulations to all of you for figuring out what is best for everyone to be able to move forward. I have always loved how open you are as a blogger and you definitely were missed.

    • Marni says:

      Thank you so much for writing! And for being such a dedicated reader. I agree with you that a lot of couples would be better as friends, but it’s a really difficult decision to make and accept. And societal expectations are so contrary to that, that it makes it even more difficult to figure out that the relationship may not be right. We’re all supposed to find “the one,” persevere, try and try and try, and stay together forever…even if it’s only just good enough. And I think it’s hard to step out of that frame of mind. It took me YEARS.

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