My plan is to keep posts about the last two years separate from posts about what’s going on now. I think it will be easier to follow and hopefully a bit more organized. We’ll see.
Oh and both G and the boyfriend know that I’m blogging again and that I’m going to be blogging about my life (which includes them). The boyfriend is not that interested, and G only wants to see more pictures of himself. Seriously. I told him I published another post and he said, “where are the pictures of me?!” OMFG. See, nothing has changed.
In February 2017, I made the decision that I didn’t want to be married to G any longer. As I said, it was the most difficult decision I’ve ever made in my life. The worst part is that nothing happened to cause it. There was no betrayal, fight, or big event. I just wasn’t happy. And I was making G miserable as well. I read a book called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. It was exactly how I felt and while I really enjoyed reading the book, it didn’t make anything clearer for me. I finally decided that “good enough” wasn’t good enough. And as much I loved him and didn’t want to hurt him, I couldn’t stay married to him. I had no idea what we would do, but I knew we could stay living together for a while and maybe even forever. I know, it sounds weird and strange, but we were still best friends. See, I didn’t plan on dating. I didn’t want to date. I didn’t end the marriage so I could be with someone else. I just couldn’t be in that relationship any more and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in a relationship ever again.
And that’s how it stayed…for months. We told everyone we were divorcing, but we were still friends. And we planned on remaining friends. We went to Mexico and to visit G’s new grandson in North Carolina and on a cruise with G’s family. Here we are in Mexico:
And it worked. We were trying to figure things out and, at times, it was super easy and at other times, it was so overwhelming. I remember that I cried about 100 times in that first week. And G would comfort me! I couldn’t believe that after everything, he would comfort me. Yes, he’s a great guy. I asked him to send me another picture to put in this post and he picked this one out:
Ooooh-kaaaaaaaaaay. I guess he likes birds, now?
Fast forward a few months to May 2017, when a couple of my friends said that I needed to date. They set me up on Tinder and I was terrified. I never really dated before getting married and this was some crazy sh*t. OMFG. Terrifying and thrilling. And hilarious. I wasn’t interested in getting married or finding a life partner or anything like that and honestly, I didn’t think I would even meet up with anyone in real life. Spoiler alert: I met up with a few people. And it was so entertaining. So f*cking entertaining.
Next up…the dating game!