The Shed

When G and I bought our house, we knew we’d have to put a shed in the backyard because we don’t have a garage.  After storing all the tools and crap inside our house for over a year, we decided it was time to find a shed.  Well, finding a shed was easy.  Finding out how much work we’d have to do before we could even assemble the shed…that was hard.

First, we found a place in the yard to put the shed:



Our yard is not level and slopes down from right to left.  We tried to find a place that wasn’t too sloped because, according to our contractor (and my former coworker, Steve), we needed to dig an 8 ft. by 8 ft. hole, put about 4 inches of gravel in it and make sure it was level.  I’m an idiot so I thought that would be easy.

We had gravel delivered to our driveway and borrowed wheelbarrows, shovels and a level from our neighbor.


We started digging, but I was really bad at that.  The ground was really f*cking hard so I decided it would be more fun to take pictures of the animals that came by to laugh at watch us.



That’s Bing’s girlfriend, Holly.  She is one of the nicest cats I’ve ever met.


Jack couldn’t believe we were all outside together.


While I wasted time and bitched about how hot it was, G was busy, busy, busy!


So I decided to take credit for his work.


Eventually, he stopped digging and we had a pretty good square.


Moving the gravel from the front of the house f*cking sucked, but we did it.  For those of you who didn’t know…gravel is really heavy.


Kennedy stopped by to make sure everything was level.


She is an expert leveler.

After we finished, we waited a couple of days for our contractor to visit and assemble the base.  As luck would have it, the only day all of us were available was the day it was supposed to be 101 degrees.  Perfect building weather!  Steve drove up early in the morning and got to our house at 9:00 am.

Because he is so anal on top of things, he had all the wood measured, cut and marked so all we had to do was screw it together.  Brilliant.


Holly came back to supervise.


I always thought you were supposed to wear close-toed shoes when you build things…Steve likes to wear flip flops.  Interesting.


G was really excited when Steve asked him to pre-drill holes in the particle board.



Less than 90 minutes later…


WE HAD A BASE!  We loaded all Steve’s tools into his truck and he pulled out of the driveway at 10:36 am.  Not bad.  THANKS STEVE!

Next, it was time to build the shed.  It was delivered in two giant boxes.


I considered not even building the shed because I kind of liked having a stage in the backyard.


I was working on my audition for my second part-time job…as a pole dancer.  We don’t have a pole (shocking, I know) so I was just practicing with the tamper we bought.  At least I’m resourceful.

Anyway, I love putting things together so I was excited about assembling the shed.  It was my job to read the directions, hand G the right tools and tell him what to do.  I’m very good at all of those things.  It took us about five hours…


We didn’t even fight, file for divorce or have to take anything apart to re-assemble it!  Go us!  We also had another supervisor…



These creatures are too relaxed.

Anyway, the shed looks great and we now have some much needed storage.


This entry was posted in Creatures, House, Trophy Husband. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Shed

  1. Jenny says:

    Hi! I’m the creeper who met your husband at the store yesterday! Just wanted to say that you’ve got a fan here in PDX, and if you ever wanted to meet up for a (very slow) run, I’m game!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s