No Rhyme or Reason

As I mentioned, I picked up a part-time job.  After two weeks on the job, I thought I’d share a little about my experience as a PIZZA DELIVERY DRIVER!!!


Why did I get this job?  Long story short…I’M TIRED OF MY F*CKING STUDENT LOANS. I’ll write more about this later, but I still owe a TON of money and I’m tired of paying all that interest.  No, I didn’t get fired from my full-time job, but I’m not willing to leave it to find something better paying (I love being able to telework and I love working a 4-10 schedule way too much).

So back to my super-cool, part-time gig.  A local pizza chain opened in our area just about two weeks ago.  It’s one of those pizza parlors that has games, laser tag, and mini-golf.  There are about 1,000,000 kids running around all the time.  I know, I’m surprised I’m still working there too.

Because the pizza parlor just opened, we haven’t had too many deliveries, but here’s what I’ve learned about tipping.  There’s no rhyme or reason to how much (or how little) you’ll get tipped.  I like to think I’m a good tipper.  I tip at least 20% unless the service is horrendous, but even then, I’ll still tip.   You’re welcome servers!  I know there are horrible tippers out there, but I thought that because my customers would have to actually hand me my tip and/or fill out a credit card receipt in front of my f*cking face, they would be less likely to give sh*tty tips.  Not true.

I went on a delivery for a $26 order and got an $8 tip…what a nice guy!  Then yesterday, I went on a $74 delivery and got a 3 DOLLAR TIP!  WHAT?!!!  At first, it made me laugh, but then I wanted to do this:


And punch him in the balls.  Seriously?!  Wow.

And then I remind myself that that’s why I did not count on having any tips when I took this job…because there is no guarantee that I’ll even get one.

F*cking @ssholes.

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7 Responses to No Rhyme or Reason

  1. I love that you’re working as a pizza delivery woman! I often dream about quitting my full-time job and doing the same. And good for you for paying off your student loans. Tipping is an odd beast, though. I worked as a food server for years and people can be either very generous or very stingy, and it’s usually the least expected customers that turn out to be the stingiest (i.e., the ones with money, i.e., the cheap a**holes). Cheers and eat a pizza one me, okay?

  2. Carina says:

    Interesting. I always tip 20-25% in a restaurant unless theres’s some crazy serious issue, which pretty much never happens. But buffets and delivery? Hmm, I guess I’m around 10%, and I shudder to think, maybe less? Oops! Do you think delivery drivers should get the same as someone who handles your table all night at a restaurant?

    • I don’t think 10% is bad, especially on a larger order. But $3 on a $74 delivery is pretty low. On an order like that, I’d like to share my tips with the kitchen, but there’s nothing to share when you only get $3.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Ugh. Law school loans are pretty much like carrying a second mortgage for us so I feel ya.

  4. huntingchef says:

    This one made me laugh!!!!

  5. Pingback: Five Months | CatasTrophy Wife

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