Just a few minutes ago, George was enjoying one of his most favorite snacks…
Although, he wasn’t in the car and he wasn’t wearing a…umm, wife-beater. He was sitting on the couch like a lazy f*cker. Then Jack had to be let in from outside. You remember Jack, right?
So George let Jack in and started wiping off Jack’s paws…because our backyard is basically a mud pit right now. George spent additional time wiping down the floors because Jack’s paws are so hairy, they drag mud across the universe. I think it was at this point that Jack took the brain. For many years, I’ve believed that Jack and George share a brain. I think Jack lets George have the brain when he goes to work, but the brain is up for grabs when George is at home.
After doing some very minimal cleaning, George came back to his happy place, the couch. A few minutes later, I heard this:
“My fingertips taste like mud.”
Well yes, @sshole, you were just wiping mud off the dog and the floor, then you finished the Doritos and licked your fingers…WITHOUT WASHING YOUR HANDS. I’m pretty sure Jack is still laughing his @ss off.
Jack – 1,009,403
George – 0