Da Birth, Part One

Are you ready?  Because it’s time to read about some serious sh*t.  Buckle up, Buttercup.

On Sunday, November 18th at 6:57 am I got the following text from my sister:

“Don’t freak out but u may want to bring ur stuff for the hospital”

I was just heading out the door to take George to the airport because he was leaving for New Orleans that day.  Because we’d had a few false alarms along the way, I decided that I’d stop by my sister’s on the way home to see how she was doing.

I got to her place at around 10:30 am.  I didn’t think it was possible, but she looked even more ginormous than the last time I saw her.  She was still having contractions about every 10 minutes and she’d have to stop talking and kind of think her way through them.  She didn’t scream, she just stopped whatever she was doing and breathed through it.  As luck (?) would have it, it was also the day of Elijah’s birthday party.


Because I’m an incredible aunt, I brought him bags of candy.  He was thrilled and my sister was hoping she’d be in the hospital when he ate all of it.

Anyway, my sister and I started to make a plan.  She wanted to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital and I wanted to go home to pack my stuff.  She decided she would go to the birthday party (which started at 2:00 pm) and call me if she wanted me to take her to the hospital.  So I left.

I called her on my way back…maybe around 4:00 pm.  She was in a lot of pain, but was going to wait until the party was over, everything was cleaned up and then head to the hospital.  Her contractions weren’t getting closer together, but they were increasing in pain.

Finally, at around 6:00 pm she went to the hospital.  The doctor examined her and discovered that she was barely 1 cm dilated!!!  I’m pretty sure Em was ready to kill someone.  They were considering sending her home, but Em ended up getting admitted at around 7:30 pm.  I still wasn’t at the hospital (I went to my brother’s), but Em said she’d call me when she was at 4 or 5 cm dilated.  I was going to try to get some sleep and hope to get a call in the middle of the night from her.  My mom and Jamison were with Em in the hospital.

When I didn’t hear from Em by about 5:00 am on Monday, the 19th, I thought something was wrong.  So I called my mom.  She said there was no progress and Em was still in tons of pain.  I decided I’d wait a little longer before going to the hospital.  I did my hair and makeup (I didn’t want to scare Kennedy after she was born) and went to Starbucks on the way.

I ended up getting there at about 8:00 am.  And I saw Em have a major, f*cked up, crazy contraction.  I try to be a cold b*tch most of the time, but seeing my sister in that much pain brought tears to my eyes.  And then I knew it was going to be a long day.  My mom is much better at this sh*t than me.  She basically looked like this the entire time:


She’s also better at the comforting thing.  I don’t really like it when people touch me  and I don’t really like touching people.  I’m very bad at comforting, unless I can do that with words (I don’t know how good I am at that either).  Anyway, thank god my mom and Jamison were there because I couldn’t look at Em (because it would make me cry) and I didn’t want to touch her.  I soon found that a good place for me was in front of the contraction computer because I could watch it and tell her what was happening.


It was really weird to see Em be pretty much okay for a few minutes and then be in such severe pain.  But it didn’t take long to get used to it and we all kind of fell into a routine.  I brought nail polish:


And my mom did some knitting and played on her phone:


We took a few pictures when Em wasn’t screaming:



I think I said something about Em’s boobs in that picture so she decided this would help:


Umm, yeah, I don’t think that helped very much.

By 11:00 am, Em was still feeling really badly.  And her contractions were even more painful.  A few times she said, “I know she’s not coming out, but it feels like she’s coming out”.  She called the nurse and said that it was really painful and much worse than before.  The nurse was also pregnant with her first child.  After Em told the nurse that her pain was different, the nurse said “Yes, honey, you’re giving birth.  This is going to be really painful.”  And then the nurse left the room.

And my sister said, “Yeah, I know this is going to be painful…let’s see how you do when you’re giving birth, you f*cking whore.”

And that’s when things got serious.  Keep in mind that Em had been having contractions for about 28 hours at this point.  And had been in the hospital for about 15.5 hours.  Unfortunately, she still had to wait more than 14 hours to meet Kennedy.

Stayed tuned…

Side Note: While writing this post, Emily called me.  I asked her how everything’s going…she said that it feels like her nipples are being chewed on by a shark.  Umm, ouch.  

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5 Responses to Da Birth, Part One

  1. Cheri says:

    Yikes! I’m sure it took her MUCH more than the typical two minutes to forget about that loooong labor!! Can’t wait to hear more. Also, I have sympathy nipple pain for that mama, cause that freaking hurts!!! =/

  2. Melissa says:

    Yeah, Cheri, someone should warn you that the nipple pain is far worse than the contractions!

    Did your sis get an epidural?

  3. Emily says:

    This is liking watching a train crash – I know I should look away (not read it) but I can’t help myself!

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