On Saturday, we headed to Portland to celebrate my nephew’s birthday.

And Kai even took a picture with me…without screaming his balls off!  Happy birthday to me!

I think he was just trying to be good so I’d give him all the cake and Oreo pops.

It worked, but I mostly gave him jelly beans.  He loved those.

We had quite the family gathering for this event.  There was a ton of food, a lot of gifts and a lot of eating.

Kai loves anything that looks like a stick so he was pretty thrilled when G and I gave him this little golf club set ($5.97 at Walmart…nothing but the best for little Kai).

We had to open it right then so he could try it out.

Tim tried to show Kai how to use the club and ball together, but Kai prefers to carry the club with one hand and throw the ball with the other.  Interestingly enough, this is also how I prefer to play golf.

Kai also got a small soccer ball…

(I don’t know why Toya looks like she’s going to kill all of us, but I’m scared of her now.)

And a fire truck!

Kai calls this a “butts”, which my brother says is the way Kai says “bus”.  Yeah, okay Jeff, whatever you say.

I got tired of taking pictures of Kai so I took some of myself!

And then I took a picture with the two sluttiest girls at that party!

Whores.  I might not put out, but at least I have the flattest stomach now.

And then Tomoe pretended to be G’s mail-order bride.

One of the best.pictures.ever.

So after picture time, we ATE.

It was an incredible spread with potato salad, fruit salad, green salad, and corned beef.  It was amazing.

After stuffing our faces, it was time for dessert.  Holy hell, there was a lot of dessert.  As a dessert appetizer, we had cake pops and Oreo pops.

Kai was thrilled to finally try them.  And when he saw his cakes…he almost flipped his sh*t.

Actually, it was probably G that flipped his sh*t, but Kai was pretty excited too.

Kai is now a big, terrible two year old.

And after that, I let Toya take some pictures with my camera.  She took a few good ones like this:

So I asked her to take one of me too.  It turned out like this:

I love that girl.