Is THAT what I look like?

Do you ever see pictures of yourself and think “who the f*ck is that”?  And then realize it’s you?  After having about 200 pictures of myself tagged on Facebook this week, I’ve had more than a few of those moments.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten a little bit better at dressing and posing in photos in the last 22 years or so.

Kid

Both my sister and I have learned to avoid these looks (and poses) at all times.

Normally, I’m pretty good at posing from the neck up.

Skydive

Or even from the waist up.

DSC07030

But it’s rare that I get a full body picture I’m willing to share (and I usually try to hide behind G, if only to try to minimize myself a little).

DSC06564

It helps to color coordinate with the person you’re hiding behind, just fyi.

If you take a candid shot of me, you’re pretty much guaranteeing a fugly picture.

Fat

Holy sh*t, are my shoulders really that broad?  I guess that’s why I turn to the side in just about every single picture.

No boobs

And really, what the hell happened to my boobs in this picture?  I’m turned to the side, but I obviously didn’t turn my torso the right way…the result is odd-looking and reason #72 that I need to get a boob job.

And please, do not take a picture of me dancing.  Especially if I’m in a white dress.

Fat 3

Yeah, that’s embarrassing and I think I can see that the 10 pounds I gained on the cruise settled right in my hips.  That’s lovely.  And another in a white dress:

Reception

Gorgeous.

Now, I realize that I sometimes photo bomb my own pictures:

Crazy

But I’m usually trying to look like a psycho so it works.

These pictures just make me wonder if my normal/non-posing appearance is as a broad-shouldered, wide-hipped, weird-boobed, crazy dancer that can sometimes take an acceptable picture.

I’m pretty sure the answer is yes.  Cool.  Bring on the pictures!

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7 Responses to Is THAT what I look like?

  1. I’m still working on my perfect pose. Mistake: Standing with straight legs so to expose the fat of your knee.

  2. Diana says:

    I look like a freakishly pale midget with chubby bunny cheeks in pictures…and in real life! You look like a totally normal human, so congrats, and you also look great with blonde AND brunette hair so double congrats!!

  3. Hubbie says:

    You look beautiful in every picture as far as I’m concerned babe! We’ll work on a boob job after our 60″ 3D LED! 🙂

  4. beth says:

    i think you look pretty damn good. We are our harshest critics. But if you cant laugh at yourself who can? And btw I hate pics of myself too. take care!

  5. Sierra says:

    I also hate photos, especially when other people take them. When I take my own photos, I can stand to make myself look skinny and delete all the gross ones. My husband is really tall, so I’m lucky that a lot of times our legs are cut off. This works to my advantage. What is your sister wearing? Is that all in one piece?

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