Need a Tour Guide?

On Friday, the whole family drove to Silver Falls State Park outside of Salem, Oregon.  It was a relatively short drive for G and I so we arrived first.  We drove past this huge windmill on the way and it reminded me of Palm Springs (minus the palm trees).


And soon we arrived at the park.  As usual we set up our tent, in the hopes of beating the rain.  We’ve become experts at putting up our tent and were soon resting inside waiting for the other fools to arrive.


Jack is embarrassed by us so he stayed outside.



Oh and if you’re wondering, there is no cell reception anywhere near this park.  G almost died when he discovered this…he couldn’t post 1,000 updates on Facebook every day while camping, dang!  To all of G’s Facebook friends, you’re welcome.

It didn’t take long before creatures started invading our space, this is Biff.  He enjoyed our tent.


We also found some other cool stuff while we were looking around.  First up, deer poop!


And the propane tank between our campsite and my mom’s campsite.  So beautiful, it really added to the scenery.


The rest of Friday consisted of us helping everyone else set up their campsites and me making my fabulous dinner.

After having an excellent sleep, we planned on going on a little hike.  But first, we felt like torturing my sister’s dog, Bailey.  She wanted to dress up like Teresa from The Real Housewives of New Jersey!

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I think she looks pretty cute!  After messing with the dogs, we took off for the hike.  Julia was totally psyched and ready to go.


And then she passed out.


FYI, dogs are not allowed on most of the trails at Silver Falls so it was just humans on this trip.  We had a few small photo shoots along the way.

The parents:


The “white power” couple, child and fetus:


Em’s “family”:


We saw some cool things on the way to the main waterfall.  We saw a little stream.


Some tall trees.


And this idiot doing…theater?


I have no idea.  But then we made it to the waterfall.


This waterfall is pretty cool because there is a trail that goes behind it!



And there were a lot of weird spots for people to take pictures.






As you come down from the waterfall, you come to this bridge…another great place to take photos.





The picture below is one of my favorites.  Tim looks like he’s photo bombing it…I don’t think that was his intention and it cracks me up!  I also like that you can only see half of Elijah’s face!  If you’d like me to take some family photos for your family just let me know.


We made it back up to the top of the waterfall and headed to the coffee shop.  While we were there, one of the volunteers built a fire and G decided he needed to pose in front of it.  He watches way too many soap operas.


And then we started to head back to camp…well, some of us did.  Some idiots decided to let me lead the rest of us back on the bike trail.  It was really pretty at first.



But the bike trail is deceptive.  The whole thing is paved (which makes you believe you are going somewhere)m but there are no signs, except “bike trail” and “rim trail”.  Those signs are not helpful, if you’re wondering.


Somehow, we ended up with the kid and I’m pretty sure they will never go anywhere with us again.  It took about an hour before we realized we were lost.  It was about 90 minutes before G left with the kids to walk on the highway.


The kids thought we were going to die.  I stayed on the bike trail with my mom and Tim.  G ended up flagging down a car and having them drive him and the kids to the campground.  I was glad G was with two black kids because I’m pretty sure he would have been arrested if he were walking around with Julia and Kai.  Anyway, we stayed on the trail for maybe 15 minutes and then decided to get on the road as well.



Still, we had no idea where we were going, but were hoping we’d get somewhere or see the camp ranger.  This was the only sign we saw.


It was not helpful.  But once G got back to camp, he sent my sister and Jamison to pick us up.  We were entering the campground when they reached us.  They picked up my mom, but Tim and I kept walking because we were so close (and I ate too much macaroni and and cheese the night before).  They brought us nourishment.



I was excited until I realized this was probably G’s way of getting my life insurance policy.  Those f*ckers were so salty, I almost died from dehydration after eating ONE!  Nice try, G, nice try.

When we finally saw this sign, I realized we tried to walk to Silverton.  I never wanted to go to Silverton and that hasn’t changed.


Needless to say, we made it back.  However, I don’t think I’ll be getting a tour guide position at Silver Falls (or anywhere) any time soon.

I was pretty happy to sit by the fire that night.


And have Hart take pictures of us like we’re burning in hell.


My mom likes to try build fires that you can see from space.

In the morning, G (once again) tried to torture the only baby present.


G, you’re getting too close…


Maybe one day, Julia will let G hold her, but, if she’s smart…she’ll keep her distance.

And that’s the end of our CAMPING ADVENTURES in 2011!  A successful camping year, I think.

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5 Responses to Need a Tour Guide?

  1. OMG, I just had to cover my mouth from laughing so hard throughout this entire post.
    From you taking the wrong path, G posing in front of a fire, the ‘white power’ couple, G potentially getting arrested, to the picture of you guys ‘burning in hell.’
    Seriously you should write a book of all of your camping adventures. I would be on the pre-order list. I think I would probably die from laughing so much!
    Thank you for being the highlight of my boring work day 😀

  2. OH & I totally forgot to add my favorite part- the picture that looks like Tim is photo bombing had me laughing for a good 5 minutes, I kept scrolling back up just for a good laugh!!!

  3. Great post! Thank you!

    My wife and I have been camping around Oregon all summer long! Right on!

  4. Hubbie says:

    I enjoyed getting lost with you babe!

  5. Megan My Day says:

    I am very glad you made it back in time to eat dinner and George didn’t get arrested. I do have to say I really missed George’s inspirational quotes. Happy Belated Birthday!

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