Want to be a Warrior?

Today, I’m sitting at home on the hottest weekend thus far in the Pacific Northwest and I pretty much don’t want to do anything.  However, a few months ago, my “friend” Lindsey asked me to sign up for the Warrior Dash with her.  Lindsey was also my aqua jogging pal.

I didn’t think anything of it because September was like, a million months away…so I signed up.  Now that I’m facing this horrendous adventure TOMORROW MORNING, I’m beginning to regret that decision.

For those of you that are not familiar with the Warrior Dash, it’s a little over a 5k race (they describe it as “3.18 hellish miles”) with obstacles.  The 5k part doesn’t scare me. The obstacles do.  Here’s a list of the obstacles I’ll be enduring (or running past) tomorrow:

  1. Deadweight Drifter – basically going through waist-deep water and dodging logs;
  2. Road Rage – running/crying through a wreckage yard;
  3. Great Warrior Wall – scaling a wall with a rope;
  4. Rubber Ricochet – running through hanging tires;
  5. Deadmans Drop – climbing a wall (they call a hurdle) and going over the other side;
  6. Chaotic Crossover – climbing across a net made of rope;
  7. Barricade Breakdown – “hurdle” over barricades and crawl under barbed wire;
  8. Satan’s Steps – I don’t really understand this one, but it says “scamper across the staggering steps”;
  9. Assassin’s Escape – go up steps and down a fireman pole;
  10. Cargo Climb – go up cargo nets;
  11. Warrior Roast – leap over flames; and finally
  12. Muddy Mayhem – crawling under barbed wire in the mud.

Now some of the things seem fine, I can crawl.  I’m really scared for the obstacles that required upper body strength because I basically have none.  I should have been doing more of this:

And less of this:

But I’ll be okay (I think) and I will try not to cry (too much) during the race.  Please wish Lindsey and me luck as we head to North Plains, Oregon tomorrow morning at 6:30 am (at least we were smart enough to pick an early start time so it won’t be too f-ing hot when we’re climbing through mud).


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10 Responses to Want to be a Warrior?

  1. Lindsey says:

    And then… We will eat! I’m excited about that part.

  2. Oh! I did the Warrior Dash here in Colorado and it was lots of fun! Wasn’t too tough but it was definitely a great time. You’ll love it!

  3. Sara says:

    You will LOVE it. It’s so much fun! Don’t be scared, but I would wear shoes/clothes you never want to wear again & long socks. In our Warrior Dash we ran through fields of high grass & crawled on the ground — the socks kept my legs from being scraped up

  4. priya says:

    G just comes through as the nicest guy in pictures! He is always smiling….it’s nice to see that.

  5. I made the mistake of doing the Warrior Dash at a ski resort! Ummm, one of the obstacles was actually trying to run up the steepness of one of the ski hills. And of course it was also on one of the hottest days of the year. Seriously, hardest thing I’ve ever done (waaaaaayyyy harder than any of my half marathons…), but as long as you’re not at a ski resort (and I pray you’re not!), it’s quite fun! Long socks are a great idea like Sara said, but I’d also wear capris so you at least have *something* on your knees. Between the mudpit at the end and the blackout tent (which would be equal to your barricade breakdown, I think), your knees take a massive beating. Well, your whole body takes a beating, but time seems to erase those bumps and scrapes and bruises… One last tip: tie your shoes tight! There was a 2 foot deep mudpit 2 minutes into my race and MANY people lots their shoes! Can you imagine running 5k with no shoes…in mud? and stones? and sticks? Ummm, no thanks! Would I do it again? Hells yes! Have fun tomorrow 🙂

    • Umm, your comment, just scared the sh*t out of me. Thank god our race is not at a ski resort and I am planning on wearing running tights (soooo sexy…I apologize to anyone who has to see me from behind…or the front…or the side…or at all), but I hope they will limit the scrapes, at least a little. Thanks for the tip on the shoes…maybe I’ll just duct tape them to my feet, that should keep them on, right?

  6. Melissa says:

    My friend and I did it 2 weeks ago and had a blast. Next time I’ll wear something to protect my knees. My bruises are just now going away. Hope you had a blast like we did!

  7. Emily says:

    That tres leches cake will give you all the energy you need! It’s coming back to our area again next year so we’re already signed up for June 2012… because yes, it’s a million months away! You can let me know if I should back out or not when the time comes!

  8. So how did it go? Are you a warrior? 🙂

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