Blow it Out Your Ass

Most of you read my guest post on SkinnyRunner about Lessons I Learned from Dating (and subsequently marrying) an Old, Black Man, but here’s something else I’ve learned.  You end up attending a lot of “old man appointments”.

Today, G had an appointment for a colonoscopy.  I know, gross.  We started prepping for this appointment about 5 days ago, and yesterday G had to start a liquid diet and drink a whole bunch of laxative to “clean him out”.  Isn’t that nice?  George ate 3 bowls of lemon jello.

He couldn’t eat anything that had red, orange, blue or green dye in it, so lemon was really his only choice.  Poor G.  And by the time he woke up this morning, he was a pissed off and starving.  And he had a headache (which he repeatedly told me about).  Needless to say, I was very happy when the medical office called us in early.

Even though G was starving with a headache, he was still game for taking a few pictures.

And he got to wear a sexy outfit for the procedure too!

Then the staff asked him is name a hundred times and hooked him up to an IV.

Finally, he got all settled in and had a chance to catch up on the J-Lo/Marc Anthony drama!!

Good multi-tasking G.

While G was getting things shoved in a place I don’t like to think about, I waited in the waiting room and read my book (no, I still haven’t finished that thing!).  After about 45 minutes, they called me into the recovery room.  And I was greeted by this:

Yep, he made it through.  I was also happy to see this on the wall in his room:

Neat, huh?  And then the doctor came in and showed us these pictures:

Yep, that’s the inside of G’s butt!  Ha ha.  Isn’t so nice and clean?  I was shocked.  The doctor said G’s colon is normal and he won’t have to do that again for another 10 years!

To celebrate the good news, I had all of this ready for G when we got home:

No-bake cookies, a cowboy pizza from Papa Murphy’s and a Playboy (courtesy of Lea).  I know, I’m the best wife EVER.

This entry was posted in Trophy Husband and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Blow it Out Your Ass

  1. Lol, totally the best wife ever! I would have been selfish and got Maxim. I enjoy reading those.

  2. Kathleen says:

    Thanks for the visuals. I have mine scheduled in September. This is what you have to look forward to when you are in your 60’s. Crap!!

  3. Gma Pat says:

    UGH! “Crap” is the operative word here!! I have the ‘same’ scheduled for Aug. 31st….and the pleasure of them doing both ends at the same time!! Double YUK! Didn’t know about the blue, orange or green stuff, only the red. Thanks for the input. Probably won’t have picts to show like G, no cameraman (or woman) handy for the production. Phew, thank God for that!

  4. KileyRae says:

    Not sure if the no bake cookies is the best visual after a colonoscopy 🙂

  5. Alyssa says:

    I just read your guest post on SR and I am in love with it. It’s basically the story of my life, except my black man is only 3 years older than me. He totally pulls the race card all the time on me, as in “this outfit is cool for black people, you don’t understand because you are white” when he is trying to convince me it’s ok to wear something very similar to the outfits your husband wore. Like a shirt with a shoe with laces that really tie. Or an electric blue suit. He does things like “our shower is for whites only” (which I told him when we were first dating) hilarious. I’m so happy it’s not just me. You are absolutely the best wife ever.

  6. Manon says:

    Bwahahaha….I just found your blog, and am in love already.

  7. Heather says:

    That’s awesome! He does have a nice clean colon…did I just type that? GROSS. Good job G on keepin it clean.

  8. Sarah says:

    Ugh – colonscopies are not fun! I had one a few years ago when I was going through diagnostics for GI issues. Blech. I’m glad G went though, preventative measures are so important!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s