Yesterday, I flew home from Atlanta. I was on a direct flight and I had my favorite seat…a window seat. Granted, I was in coach, but having a window seat makes me happy. That way, I don’t have to get up 50 times to let someone get out and I also have a view.
I used to travel for work so I am kind of OCD when it comes to what I take on the plane and where I put it. I’m kinda tall (about 5’8″) and I like my leg room so I only put my purse under the seat in front of me. Anything else, goes above in the overhead bin.
As usual, when the flight took off, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I started to read my book. The lady next to me was holding a bunch of sh*t on her lap because she shoved an enormous bag under the seat in front of her (idiot). I don’t know why she did this because she was on the plane before I was and she could have put it above. Anyway, she was holding all the sh*t on her lap. Then she started to reshuffle everything. I wasn’t really paying attention because she was starting to piss me off. Later, I decided to get my iPod out of my purse and I saw this:
That is two purses underneath the seat IN FRONT OF ME. My purse is the one on the right…the other one belongs to the b*tch sitting next to me. Now, my blood started to boil. You see, if she’d asked me if she could have put her purse under the seat, I would have said yes. I’m nice like that. But if you just take my space I get pissed off. So I started to think of things I could do to f*ck her up.
- Find nail polish, open it and throw it inside her purse;
- Smash everything in her purse with my feet;
- Scream at her like a crazy person; or
- Listen to this song really loudly:
However, I didn’t want to ground the plane or get arrested by TSA and I didn’t know how I could do or say something when I still had to sit by her for another two hours. So I decided to be ultra passive aggressive and do this: