Guarding the House

Every time I leave the house, I give Jack a treat and tell him to guard the house.  However, I don’t think he is the most intimidating creature.

Jack’s turning 11 on Sunday and he takes meds for his hips every day.  I’m thinking he might need a little help guarding the house.  Fortunately, Jack’s little brother, Bing, is a little more intimidating:

And he likes to kill things.  Bing is also good at making friends…I actually think he’s trying to recruit members for a gang.  This scares me, but I can’t get Bing to open up about his goals in life.  Anyway, the other morning I found this:

That is not Bing.

See, that is Bing’s friend.  He looks just like Bing, except for one big difference…he has no tail.  Well he has one, but it’s only about an inch long.  That’s why G and I call him NoTail.  Bing doesn’t let NoTail come inside but he thinks it’s okay for him to sit on the step and look inside.  I don’t understand Bing’s gang.  Also, I don’t think NoTail has a home, which makes me sad.  But I do think NoTail is helping guard the house.

And the other day, G and I found this creature:

Scary right?

This was very exciting and I was happy to see that G didn’t go run and hide like a little girl.  I’m also happy that Bing hasn’t brought this poor thing’s body home to us.

Needless to say, we’ve really beefed up security around here.  Good luck trying to steal our worthless sh*t.   

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8 Responses to Guarding the House

  1. sarahsmodernbites says:

    Holy sh*t if I saw that snake near my house I would pee my pants. I have no shame in admitting I am absolutely terrified of snakes! (And I lived in Tucson for a year snake capital the United States) Anything that moves that quickly and doesn’t have legs creeps me out. From the picture it looks like it was slithering around (ahhhhhhhhh gives me chills to look at and even think about) but was it dead?? I am such a baby.

  2. Kim says:

    Just wait until tonight when you have Sadie. She is a true guard dog.

  3. Jo says:

    I just came across your blog today… its my new favourite.
    My husband and I can’t stop laughing. (He’s a lot like G, except he is not 74)

  4. Loved your post on Skinny Runner’s blog! It was very entertaining! I sure hope I age as well as G!….but as a woman of course since I’m not a man…..you know what I mean. And cute doggy btw!

  5. Heidi says:

    What the hell kind of snake is that?!

  6. I would totally go run & hide like a little girl if I saw that thing!! It is HUGE!

  7. Shannon says:

    Garter snakes are good to have around your house, will keep your house free of rodents and bugs 🙂

    One more creature guarding your house.

  8. Kathleen says:

    Aw, Jack and I are birthday buddies. Sweet!

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