This is how I roll…

Now I know it might appear as if I’m a big baller (shot caller, 20 inch blades on the Impala…name that song), but unfortunately I’m going to have to burst that little bubble.  Oh wait, you didn’t think that?  Wow, that sucks.

I know I went to law school in Los Angeles with a bunch of d-bags (hi d-bags!!), who drove nice cars and spent a f*ckton of money trying to impress people.  I even passed the bar and practiced law!  However, I’m not living the attorney dream.  I don’t drive an S-class Mercedes and probably never will…well, until I fulfill my dream as a trophy wife.

In the meantime, I drive my trusty Toyota…big pimpin’ all the way.  Keep in mind that I drive close to 60 miles per day and I don’t really feel like selling my kidneys to pay for gas (I’m saving them for when I get my boob job).  Yes, I am very cheap, I can’t help it.  Before we take a look at my ride, here are some beautiful pictures from my commute.See that traffic?  That’s right 70 mph all the way!!!  Jealous?Isn’t it nice?  However, for 9-10 months a year, I drive this commute in a torrential downpour.

Now it’s time to see my sweet ass ride, what do you notice?If you noticed that I’m missing 3 hub caps, you win!!! Unfortunately, you don’t win anything because I’m a loser, but I’m proud of you for noticing.

Over a year ago, my hub caps started flying off my car!  I know, I couldn’t believe it either.  My good friend, Ann Marie, even jumped out of the car in Seattle to chase one down!  Later, it later flew off somewhere else, but I appreciate her help.  At one point, I looked at getting replacement hub caps and the stupid website said that the hub caps were prone to flying off…well, no sh!t!!

I decided I don’t need hub caps because I’m too cool for them and now I’m trying to start a trend.  If you want to be a big baller like me, lose the hub caps (and just keep 1)!  And that’s how I roll.  G is horrified.

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14 Responses to This is how I roll…

  1. Isn’t that “Wanna be a Baller” by Troy or something like that?

    I’m hip with the G’s.

  2. Hubbie says:

    I like the Coolio lyrics; but I hate the dirty wheels! IJS

  3. Maybe you could spray paint the inside of the wheel silver and make your own ghetto hubcaps. I’m sure before anyone notices the light will turn green anyway. By the way, if this idea sweeps the nation, I’m coming back here for credit.

  4. I am laughing SO HARD at everything I’ve read since clicking my way over from Skinny Runner. I also went to law school in LA (prob the same time and school as you, who knows) so I am family with the dbaggery. Anyway, you’re hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs.

  5. Shelly in MI says:

    Love that you can laugh about your car. No reason to let missing hub caps get you down. Ha, today’s post made me laugh.

  6. Ashley says:

    I just stumbled upon your blog today (at work–sshhh!!) and I am cracking up!!

  7. So funny! I think it give the car character 🙂

  8. hungryspinner says:

    BAHA I love this.
    i drive about 50+ miles a day to commute so I feel ya!

  9. Lindsey says:

    Since I got my first car in high school (6 years ago), my hub caps slowly started coming off, starting 3 days after I got the car. I drove around with 3 missing for a few years until recently, upon my college graduation, my mom stole my car and bought new hub caps for me. I miss being trendy!

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