Now I know it might appear as if I’m a big baller (shot caller, 20 inch blades on the Impala…name that song), but unfortunately I’m going to have to burst that little bubble. Oh wait, you didn’t think that? Wow, that sucks.
I know I went to law school in Los Angeles with a bunch of d-bags (hi d-bags!!), who drove nice cars and spent a f*ckton of money trying to impress people. I even passed the bar and practiced law! However, I’m not living the attorney dream. I don’t drive an S-class Mercedes and probably never will…well, until I fulfill my dream as a trophy wife.
In the meantime, I drive my trusty Toyota…big pimpin’ all the way. Keep in mind that I drive close to 60 miles per day and I don’t really feel like selling my kidneys to pay for gas (I’m saving them for when I get my boob job). Yes, I am very cheap, I can’t help it. Before we take a look at my ride, here are some beautiful pictures from my commute.See that traffic? That’s right 70 mph all the way!!! Jealous?Isn’t it nice? However, for 9-10 months a year, I drive this commute in a torrential downpour.
Now it’s time to see my sweet ass ride, what do you notice?If you noticed that I’m missing 3 hub caps, you win!!! Unfortunately, you don’t win anything because I’m a loser, but I’m proud of you for noticing.
Over a year ago, my hub caps started flying off my car! I know, I couldn’t believe it either. My good friend, Ann Marie, even jumped out of the car in Seattle to chase one down! Later, it later flew off somewhere else, but I appreciate her help. At one point, I looked at getting replacement hub caps and the stupid website said that the hub caps were prone to flying off…well, no sh!t!!
I decided I don’t need hub caps because I’m too cool for them and now I’m trying to start a trend. If you want to be a big baller like me, lose the hub caps (and just keep 1)! And that’s how I roll. G is horrified.