Movie Makeout

While I was in Seattle, we went to the movies.  It wasn’t your regular movie theater, though.  It was a fancy movie theater.  Pretty much everything Joy does is fancy, which is basically the opposite of me.  Pretty much everything I do is ghetto.  On Friday night we went here:

iPic is one of those movies theaters where you get a blanket, a pillow, popcorn, pop (soda?) and you get waited on hand-and-foot.  I was really excited.  I was also hoping someone had sex on the blanket I got.  There were 10 of us in our group and the seats are set up in pairs.  We decided that you had to makeout with the person you were paired with.  Who did I get paired with?

That’s right, the pregnant chick.  And we all know that pregnant chicks don’t put out.  They are big whores when they are trying to get pregnant and after that…nothing.  So I got stuck with the pregnant girl and Joy’s husband got stuck with Joy’s dad!  Ha ha.  Matt got totally screwed over in that deal.  But aren’t they romantic together?

The next pair was Matt’s parents.  They are actually pretty cute and they were excited to get their picture taken for the blog.  I won’t make any sex jokes about them.  Oh and they are the only people who don’t call me Porn.

These next two ladies jumped in their chairs, had their shoes off and were reading the menu within minutes of getting in the theater.  They practically body slammed me to get to their chairs!

They’re pretty intimidating, right?  I let them relax, though, because I knew they were going to have a difficult day on Saturday making onesies in a sweatshop environment.  Finally, we have Joy’s mom and step-dad, Ben.  Always ready to cuddle up and pose for a picture.

I don’t know what Ben’s looking at, but whatever…I’m just glad no one got naked during the movie.  Oh and Joy’s mom, HK, wanted me to take a picture of her newly pedicured toes.

Very nice, HK!!

While we waited for this movie to begin…

we ordered food!  I got sweet potato fries and a quesadilla…carbs anyone?  I wanted to take pictures of my food, but it didn’t come until the previews already started!  And because I’m a huge @sshole, I took pictures anyway…with the flash!!!

Surprisingly no one yelled at me after I took this picture, so I decided to take another one!

Looks pretty good, huh?  So I ate a lot of food, including popcorn, and drank at least 3 Diet Cokes.  I was a little disappointed I didn’t drink more pop, but I tried.

The theater was great and if I were a fancy person, I would totally go back!

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5 Responses to Movie Makeout

  1. Joy will only see movies at this theater. We’ve been twice, and both times with Joy. It’s a great and luxurious experience, but I won’t usually pay $27 for a movie. Glad you got to see the place!

  2. Emily says:

    I’m dying, I love how un-PC your posts are! I’m a little disappointed though because I don’t feel like we experienced the real you at Kirsten’s wedding. You were on way too good of behavior! That movie theater looks like it rocks! How was Super 8?

    • I apologize for my behavior at Kirsten’s wedding…one of my alter’s took over. For obvious reasons, CTW isn’t always allowed out in public. However, you’ll be happy to know that she’s getting a little more difficult to control. This should lead to some “interesting” situations.

  3. sassysnacker says:

    Oh my gosh, you are cracking me up! I was introduced to your blog from SkinnyRunner and I already have it saved in my favorites. You’re hysterical! 🙂

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