Sweat Drop Down My Balls

Because Dish Network gave us Starz free for a year, I’ve watched The Proposal about 100 times in the last couple of weeks.  I now have it on the DVR, too, so I can watch it whenever I want.  Watching this movie made me realize two things:

1. I’d run off with Ryan Reynolds if the opportunity presented itself.

I have to admit, I never really understood the appeal of Mr. Reynolds.  But I love him in this movie and hope he’s this funny in real life.  He’s now on “my list”…Ryan you’ve been warned.  G doesn’t believe in having “a list”, but I don’t care.  I tell him about my list ALL the time and it must have about 100 people on it at this point (but not in a whore-ish way).  Because he doesn’t agree with having a list I figure I can have as many people on it as I want.

And I told G that I would be highly disappointed if the opportunity to sleep with ScarJo or Maria Sharapova arose and he didn’t partake (he LOVES them both).  I even told him I’d have to divorce him.  I mean really, what is wrong with him?  Wedding vows only go so far and I’d totally understand!!  Hell, I’d almost sleep with those b*tches if given the chance…well, not really, I’d go for someone more like Gisele or Angelina, but whatever, you get the point.

2. I’d be like Margaret (Sandra Bullock) if I had to chant around a fire.

Also, I love Betty White…isn’t she the greatest?!!  I want to be her when/if I grow up.  You can watch the entire chant clip here:


“Get Low” by Lil’ Jon & the Eastside Boyz happens to be one of my favorite songs.  I mean with lyrics like this, how can you go wrong?

To the window, to the wall,
To the sweat drop down my balls
To all these b*tches crawl
To all skee skee motherf*cker
All skee skee got dam
To all skee skee motherf*cker
All skee skee got dam

I know it’s inappropriate, but I would sing something like this if I had to come up with something to chant.  My other options would probably be something by 50 cent or Lil’ Kim…also inappropriate.  Needless to say, if I were a music artist I’d be more like this:

I need to work on a boob job and tan.

And less like this:

Mom and dad, I’m sorry.

In honor of my budding music career (and/or part-time stripper gig), my nails will look like this for the next few days:

Hint: put on sunglasses if you're not wearing makeup!!

It’s called “OPI Ink” by OPI.  It’s purple and sparkly.  And because it’s Monday tomorrow, I believe I’m not alone in feeling like this:

Am I right, or am I right?

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1 Response to Sweat Drop Down My Balls

  1. Heidi says:

    You are more than right. I so don’t want to get up and going this morning…

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