Special Delivery

I have a coworker, Lea, who brings me a present every month.  Meet Lea:

We're posing at a friend's wedding. Please don't be offended by my boob, which is apparently trying to make an appearance

Lea’s pretty cool.  She’s the only person I know who totaled her parents car during her driving test!!  And all she did was pull out of the DMV parking lot…H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.  I’m still laughing about this as I type.  It took her another couple of years to pass the test because she was so traumatized.  This is the reason I refuse to ride with her anywhere.  While she may be a poor drivier, she’s actually a pretty smart chick and takes cool pictures like this:

Don't you love it?!!!

This picture is hanging on the back of my office door.  That’s professional, right?

Now, back to the Special Delivery.  It is mostly for George, but I like to take a quick look through it before I pass it along.

The Special Delivery. Please let me know if you want tips on how to make your hair look like straw (hint: overprocess it often and don't trim it).

What did you expect something else?

Some months, it takes more time for me to look at all the pictures (I don’t read the articles).  In June’s magazine, there are TWO centerfolds.

And I need to inspect the pictures to make myself feel even more inadequate than usual.  And sometimes, you need to show your friends.

Even though she brought me the magazine, she still appears to be shocked by the contents.

And sometimes you have to look together.

My favorite part of the magazine, though, is the Playmate Data Sheet.  It is the best and because we have 2 playmates in June, we also get 2 data sheets!!! SCORE.

Meet Mei-Ling Lam:

5'6" and 109 lbs. Seriously?

Honestly, I hope she accomplishes all her goals.  But really, I think the loving wife will be the most difficult part.  Wishing you all the best, Mei-Ling!!!

Now let’s meet Claire Sinclair (props on the name, btw):

Is anyone else appalled that Claire was born in 1991?

Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday, Claire!  She shares a birthday with my good friend, Kirsten.  Umm wait, does that mean Claire just turned 20 yesterday?  Kill me now.  And is that her real handwriting?  It looks like a typefont…weird.  And again on the height and weight.  Holy f*ck balls, apparently I need to lose about 100 pounds before I’ll achieve my goal of becoming a Playmate…is there some sort of senior cititzen Playboy?

As much as this magazine tortures me, it is one of my obsessions and I look forward to getting it every month.  Thanks, Lea!!

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8 Responses to Special Delivery

  1. sheila says:

    Ha!! This cracks me up!! Think I might need to start subscribing to this magazine! And dont’ worry – I will try to be in the senior citizen Playboy with you!!!

  2. Hubbie says:

    I should’ve brought that new mag to my filming for the Leverage TNT show today; but I think some of the girls would be intimidated by the cover!

  3. K says:

    Thanks for the mention I feel famous now! And Claire and I must be twins since we’re the same age and have the same measurements. wow.

  4. Pat Williams says:

    NO-NO-NO! on the Senior Playboy mag. Naked old people is not something that should be in printed form. Have You NOT heard of “gravity?” Well, it takes over after 60…er, even 50! (Grandpa Tim always looked for the ‘bunny’ on the front cover and of course, Read the articles!) 😀

  5. Pingback: Hostess Gift | CatasTrophy Wife

  6. Annie-Rose says:

    I found your blog through SkinnyRunner and you’re SO funny! I love that you post about Playboy – and those are my favorite sections too! (when my ex used to get the mag) Some of the things those girls write in are so hilarious… 🙂 And you’re right, Claire Sinclair’s handwriting is totally a handwriting font…

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