Alter Egos

Like most people, I have a few alter egos.  You know, little things you change about yourself if the situation dictates.  For instance, at work.  If I acted like my normal self 100% of the time at work, I would probably be fired. So I edit myself to become my work alter ego.  I’m still me, just a nicer, cleaner, more presentable version.  However, some of my alters require me to completely change my personality.  For instance, “The Harpist”.

My brother and sister hate this person.  Why, you ask?  Well, mostly because I completely change my personality into someone who’s nice.  They feel as if I’m being a total fraud.

I don’t swear like my usual drunk-sailor self, or make inappropriate comments or hand gestures.

As “The Harpist” I smile, nod, asks questions, answer questions and play beautiful, classical music.  I am very good at being “The Harpist”.

A little background:

I began taking “serious” harp lessons when I was 8.  I mostly enjoyed playing the harp because I got a lot of attention.  People thought it was cool…who doesn’t want to be cool?  I continued taking lessons through high school and even attended college on a partial harp scholarship.  Again, I got a lot of attention…not from guys, just from people (mostly old people).  I took a hiatus from the harp world while attending law school, but I occasionally play some harps jobs now…and probaby charge too much.

So yesterday, I was “The Harpist”.  Just playing some background music for a fundraiser in Portland.  It was a nice event at the Portland Art Museum.

In front, showing off the entrance and my great posing ability.

I got all dressed up and picked up my sister.  She agreed to act as my sherpa for the day (thanks Em!!).  She took a picture to document my attire (and probably to show that I wear the same clothes all the time):

Something looks weird about this it the bunching of the dress? I don't know.

So we get on the rode and set up.  Big room, big screen and a small stage at the back of the room.  I don’t know who I’m looking for to check in so I just start setting up.  I assume the stage is for me (of course) because I should always be ON THE STAGE.  I wish more people would realize this.  We haul the stand and bench in and try to find a freight elevator to get the harp in.  Luckily, we found one by the kitchen.  Well, we actually had to walk through the kitchen with the harp.  Anyway, it was fun and we got everything set up.

See, there I am....way in the back!!

And I played, and played and played.  Luckily, a few people came up to tell me how great I am so it as worth it!  And I said wonderful things and smiled and didn’t swear once.  Also, one lady said I should be wearing “white wings”.

When I think of wearing wings, this comes to mind:

Not this:

Maybe that’s just me.

So we left and went to my favorite restaurant ever, RED ROBIN (can anyone say bottomless fries)!!  I took Em to dinner as a thank you…high class all the way.

The beautiful Em, on the phone, while I'm eating all the fries!!

And that was my day as “The Harpist”.

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5 Responses to Alter Egos

  1. Rocks-ass says:

    You. Are. A. Nut. Job.
    But that’s why you’re cool.

  2. Jamie says:

    When will you come down and play in LA? I bet Adrian and I could get the real CatasTrophy Wife to come out even when you’re the Harpist

  3. K says:

    Next time you have a harp job you should totally wear the wings. Oh and BTW you look like Bethenny in that one picture.

  4. Lauren says:

    You are seriously beyond hilarious, I love everything! I wish I could bet your friend in real life seriously my type of personality. Keep writing, you should write a book.

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